Thursday, January 15, 2009

shoulders back, bitches

Though I found the fashion at this year's Golden Globes pretty boring, I will say that the majority of the red carpet walkers looked well put-together. Yeah, there were way too many white-ivory-beige-nude gowns, and there weren't many risk takers. But for the most part, the hair was neatly coiffed, the faces were evenly spray foundationed, and the dresses fit. Which brings me to Blake Lively.

Oh dear, this is not good. The hair, skin, and boobs look great as usual. But the dress, it does not fit. Combine that unflattering tugging of fabric across the hips with the shoulders rolled slightly forward, and Serena van der Woodsen looks downright dumpy. The dress itself is a gorgeous Nina Ricci creation, but clearly a size too small. It's quite an accomplishment to make this girl look bloated, as I'm faily certain that she has not retained water in her entire life. And ugh, the posture. I want to sign her up for a Nebraska high school dance team so someone will show her how to stand up straight. Shoulders back! Chin up! Boobs out!

I think what I find most depressing about this look is that I'm afraid when she sees photos of it, she's going to decide that she needs to go on a crash diet and lose ten pounds. But she has an effing amazing figure, and the problems with this look could have been solved with two simple components: proper fit and good posture.

For example, let's take a look at how great Kelly Osbourne looks.

Keep in mind that she's about 5'3" and Blake Lively is 5'10" (at least according to the internets). Kelly's also been very open about her struggle with weight. However, no matter the fluctuations, she always stands up straight, holds her shoulders back, and wears dresses that fit. When magazines talk about how much she's trimmed down or toned up, I don't even notice much of a difference. Whether she's ten pounds heavier or ten pounds lighter, she always looks good.

You can't see much of her figure in this shot, but I find it impressive that even when she's wearing a coat and scarf, you can tell that she's standing up straight.

Aw, even when she's pouty she stands up straight. Plus, glossy hair and pretty skin.

This dress pulls a bit across the hips (though I'm guessing if she went up a full size, the dress would hang too loosely), but as usual, her shoulders are back and her chin is up. This girl should give lessons. To Blake Lively.

3 comments:

Tamron Lohan said...

blake is so gorgeous, but that dress was NOT doing it!

♥ Chloe said...

Kelly has been rocking it lately. I'm typically not a fan of hers, but she's been looking downright fabulous.

But Blake? Um. Yeah. :|

Anne said...

All I could think when I saw Blake on the red carpet was, what was your stylist thinking? It takes work to make that girl look like she has rolls, but that dress managed too. How sad...