These past few days, I haven't been quite feeling myself. I've been lethargic, light-headed, occasionally depressed. There was no spring in my step. Just the other day my manfriend stumbled upon me half-heartedly pantless dancing in my apartment while lifelessly muttering the lyrics to "Love Game." I was suffering from a malady which can spring upon anyone without warning. Friends, it was Lady Gaga withdrawal.
Fortunately, before my case escalated to a critical point, Miss Gaga performed at the MTV VMAs in a theatrical Phantom of the Opera-inspired number that I have since watched six times. Girl not only showed up with Kermit the Frog as her date (and did hysterical interviews about Miss Piggy sending her weird texts), she played the piano in thigh-high boots, was raised by one hand into the air, and wiped fake blood on her face that actually got onto her eyeballs. Readers, for your own well-being, I request that you sit through MTV's lame cotton commercial so that you can watch this video.
Also, Pink performed on a freaking trapeze. It was awesome. Is it weird that I really like Pink now?
And because it's the first thing I thought of when Gaga's performance began, check out the video of Madonna's 1990 VMA performance of "Vogue." I always enjoy watching this number, since after watching Truth or Dare eight bajillion times I feel like I know all of the dancers and back-up singers. And be sure to watch for the dancer that mimicks snorting some blow in the opening.
Did you know, before the French Revolution, the aristocrats were really into hot pants?
This post is dedicated to my friend Nate, who loves Gaga even more than I do. He has her b-sides, y'all.