Sunday, July 27, 2008


I have a borderline irrational loathing for tiny blonde bubblegum pop stars that like to play at punk. I'm looking at you Avril Lavigne and Ashlee Simpson. I just want to tie them to a chair, force feed them a pastrami hoagie, and blast The Stooges until they cry. In my experience, people who expressly refer to themselves as "punks" are usually the farthest thing from. Knowing her penchant for totally anarchist leopard print hoodies and making gobs of money despite a depressing lack of talent, I wasn't particularly surprised when Ashlee Simpson "designed" a capsule collection for Wet Seal, and it definitely wasn't a shock when Avril Lavigne announced she was releasing Abbey Dawn, a collection of casual wear for Kohl's. Abbey Dawn? Really? I apologize to any Abigail Dawns in the audience, but that has to be the most teenybopper clothing line name that I've heard in my entire misanthropic, judgmental, Iggy Pop-fueled life.

But, as The Cut has kindly pointed out, within a week of its release, Abbey Dawn is already on sale. Oh sweet justice. You taste like Sour Patch Kids.

I also love this promotional video that Kohl's released. Even April Rain herself can barely get excited about her own "designs."

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